Well, here it is, BAM! First official print of my food styling and a few of my favorited recipes from my personal clients. I may be a little biased, but I think it looks pretty awesome (pats self on back). I was extremely flattered that Alcoholmanac allowed me to be part of their 10 years anniversary series of issues. So, go pick up the new JULY issue! It's at any popular bar in the Milwaukee, Ozaukee, or Waukesha county areas. It'll only be around for another month or so. And it's complimentary! I don't know about you, but "free" is one of my favorites. Thanks to Brian, I have lots of fancy pictures!
Smoked Salmon & Vi's Egg Salad Tea Sandwiches
Walnut Banana Bread with Nutella Swirl & Chocolate Chips
Fancy Schmancy Cheese Board
What I've come to realize the last few months, is that although I LOVE cooking. I love cooking for people I really care about. I put a lot of energy and positive vibes into my cooking. Doing it week after week for clients, that generally don't care or are incapable of enjoying this energy, I think, I may be a bit more particular about my personal clients going forward. Bossy, snotty, demanding, and altogether completely unaware how the real world works beyond their over abundance of wealth, is not something I care to take part in anymore. I want to serve people who are thoughtful, grateful and gracious of the energy & food I have chosen to share with them. I have started to cut off all negative aspects in my life. May this be clients, friends or family. Anyone who is incapable of showing me respect, doesn't deserve my time.
I am hoping I can spend more time actually doing food styling somewhere. Would this require additional schooling? Possibly. Would this require me to relocate? Most definitely. Just as I hit my one year anniversary of the devastation of falling for someone who I wholeheartedly thought was, "the one" to only discover he was a wolf dressed in sheep's clothing-I've decided to follow through with my initial plan. I am looking into moving back to the east coast. Maybe this is just another excuse to run away, but I know what I want and it's unlikely that I'll find it here. I miss living by water and am happiest when I'm closer to nature.
The realization and understanding that I'm an Empath and all the gifts and difficulties that come with this, has been extremely challenging for me the last few months. Learning that most of my partners are subconsciously (or consciously) drawn to me due to their need to feed off my energy and belittle me to make them feel better. And this isn't just partners. This includes some family, friends, and past lovers. Energy vampires. The more I research it, the more it makes sense. Why do I get caught up in these types of relationships? I am a giver and want to "help" people reach their full potential. Spiritually, emotionally, and financially. And I will put myself on hold to help these people that I care so deeply about. And in the end, they literally suck me dry and I am left alone with nothing to show for it. Not that, I actually expect anything, because mostly, I am rewarded by their happiness that that will flow through them, back to me.
But with my tendency to be drawn to Narcissistic and most recently, Sociopathic Energy Vampires, it is going to be an uphill battle, since these types of people are drawn to me, and I to them. But, the first part in any life lesson is being aware. I am able to grasp and understand what I need to avoid and not to ignore any of the signs. Like, I know, I give people too many chances. If someone minimizes my feelings and sensitivities, they're someone to avoid. The, "you're too sensitive, you need to grow a thicker skin" is my most favorite (being sarcastic). The real statement should be, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I will try to be more mindful of not being an asshole." Like, why should I have to change because YOU are being a horrible, mean, insensitive person? I shouldn't. Maybe they should look at themselves, and question why they are lashing out at me. It's not me, it's them. And I will stop letting those types of conversations make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Because, anyone who is incapable of listening and understanding that I am hurt, does not deserve a spot in my life. Not a week later, a month, or years. Period. They don't get it, and although I want to help these people...they won't change because they don't "want" to. Devastatingly heartbreaking. But, no one said life would be easy.