I have written this post, de-written it, unwritten it, and rewritten it, several times. So, much has been going on and I probably could have written several posts, since first starting this one. With everything that I have been feeling and sensing, it's been overwhelming to say the least. So, here we go.
It sure as heck, has been a busy month for me. I feel like it's been three months with all the stuff that I've realized and have been analyzing. But for a short recap...
The "total" solar eclipse was a blast and am glad I pulled out all the stops.
School starting with my new(er) boss, who is completely disorganized (my pay has been messed up, lack of a proper helper and being shortened on menu ingredients), and over all just totally incompetent. Let me tell you, it has been a fun way to start a new school year. I originally took this job because it was relatively stress-free, and liked the hours. Short days, and great breaks. But besides the breaks, the negative side of things are starting to outweigh the original positive ones. I'm kinda getting over it. I'm starting to look elsewhere and see what my options are.
I also picked up an extra gig at school, which has been extremely quiet and stress-free. However, I took a leap of faith with taking a test for a very interesting career possibility. It is a total shot in the dark, but doesn't hurt to try. Being up against potentially 40-some people (many who know people within the company) may be more than just a shot in the dark. But, I took it. I had to cut my nose stud out for it and I'm not much of a happy camper about that. But it is, what it is. But, I like pushing myself. One thing I am, is totally open to try all the new things. Too many people I know, are too scared to move out of their comfort zone. Partially out of fear, and partially out of laziness. Neither of which, I ever want to be.
I had also been attempting to pave the way for a very disillusioned (ex) friend, who is completely in denial about his self centered path. He's not open to this true experience that we call, life. And would rather shut down, point the finger at others, and not deal with any of it, then to admit his own personal faults. Or even to, own up to ONE fault. Sounds like a reoccurring issue with men in my life, that I have decided to get involved with. Or maybe everyone is secretly self-centered. We're all here to learn. All of us that are still here, are STILL learning. Shutting down, is just pausing the pain. It'll still be there when and if he ever decides to open his eyes. Whether it's this life, or another will be totally up to him. What a sad way to live. But it IS his life, and he refuses to be open to the possibilities. Can't force reason on someone, who is completely unreasonable...it's like talking to a brick wall. I'm at least learning how to let go of control of that. Or at least being aware of it, and attempting to do so. However, I had a dream, that it's all due to his mental illness. Which, would make complete and total sense with all of this. Who has a child, turns their back on them, talks themselves into thinking that it's okay because the situation is too hard to deal with? And. Not even having a picture of such child in his own home? Has to be a mental illness. No one spiritually or mentally healthy, is that disconnected and cold hearted. No one. But he's under this disillusion that, that alone is spiritual enlightenment. Rising above it all. Possible. Because, I sure as hell don't know for sure. But, IF that IS the case, I don't want to be spiritually enlightened. Turning your back on your own flesh and blood because YOU made a poor life decision, is just fucking selfish. Plain and simple. And now that asshole moved to MY town. Somehow these guys are multiplying here now. It may be time to start getting out.
With all the; parties, outdoor festivals, weddings, and end of summer shindigs, I have been in desperate need of a cleanse. I was going to wait till the end of this month, but was starting to feel so lethargic, I couldn't think of a better reason, not to just start right now! My plan is to juice each morning, eat extremely healthy and slowly drop all dairy (I still have a lot in my fridge that I don't want to go to waste). I'm attempting to not drink as well, but that has been a struggle. With Indian summer, seeing my lost love (twice), and generally wanting, so desperately to decompress, it's been tough. However, I, at this moment (1 week in), remain strong. Not totally strict like my winter cleanse, but it'll do. I should be super fit for my pretend Halloween plans and hope to squeeze into this...
Yes, those are rhinestone pasties.
So, THE RECIPE. I was going for a fresh salad, but still wanted it creamy and filling. I had a weird craving for grapes, and thought of whipping this salad up. I attempted to candy my walnuts with a coconut sugar concoction, but they really didn't turn out too well. So, I would suggest just throwing toasted ones on top or going old school and just candy-ing them the old fashioned way. Up to you!
Serves: 2 Spiritually-Open Babes
1 Can of Chickpeas-Drained & Rinsed
1/2 Lemon-Squeezed for her juice
1/4 Cup Mayo
1 TBS Sugar
1 Cup Chopped Apple-skinned
1 Cup Grapes
1 Celery Stalk-chopped
Sprinkle of Salt & Pepper
1 Cup Walnuts
A bed of Romaine to lay it on-or skip it if you don't feel fancy
Pretty easy. Add all ingredients. Chill for an hour. Eat.