Mercury finally has gone direct since going into Retrograde ON my birthday. Yeay!
Along with self reflection (always my focus during Mercury in retrograde) and gaining an extra year around the sun, gave me something's to think about.
First and foremost, forgiveness is an interesting life experience. Depending on the situation, it could be you forgiving someone, or them forgiving you.
As I have gotten older, I have come to terms that the older people become, the more likely they become more stubborn and incapable of forgiveness. Which, is odd to me. Because, in my personal experience, as I have gotten older, my ability to "let things go" for the greater good has actually become stronger.
Sure, sometimes I do things and say things that I wish I wouldn't have, but I am capable of seeing my flaws and owning up to them. Because, hell, I am human...or so they tell me.
But mostly, I seem to have experiences with other people who are wrong and are unable, or unwilling to admit that they are wrong or hurtful. I still attempt to forgive and forget, regardless. Because, no matter what it is, it is likely something that is so stupid and silly, it isn't worth holding onto anger for. Any time we are stuck in this stubbornness, is likely related to that person's ego. Admitting that you did wrong is hard for some people, because they don't want to admit, what they view as, defeat. But, what is defeat? Who is actually winning and what have they "won"? Being right? Who cares. Because anything that would be associated with such anger and resentment, is not worth fighting for. Not worth holding onto anger or (ego) hurt over. Life is short and those negative feeling are just that. Negative.
So, what is someone to do, when you're capable of forgiving someone who ultimately probably owed you an apology. An apology that not only will you never get, but will also have to carry the burden of knowing that you have forgiven such a person, but they won't forgive themselves for doing something so wrong to you, that they would rather carry that anger within them till the end of their time, then to forgive and forget.
As an Empath, I find that to be extremely painful. Why someone would allow their ego to give into such pain and self abuse, is beyond me. Because, ultimately, you're not hurting me. Thankfully, I am aware of it and am able to work through it. You're hurting yourself and carrying that pain into all your future human relationships that will taint that relationship and their relationships, and possibly their relationship, relationships.
I see these human experiences as ripples of energy. How we treat one another, is a wave of energy that will flow into so many lives, and most of people you will never meet.
Am I perfect? Hell no. There are people that I stay away from, people I avoid. Yes, but for reasons other than guilt and/or ego. But, I try each day to hold onto my awareness of who and what I allow into my life and what I allow to experience and allow to affect me each day. That's all I can do. So, ultimately, I can't control what happens to me, what people do and do not do to me (or towards me), but I can control How I react to it. That is fucking freedom. And that is the truest growth that I am the most proud of, as I have gotten older this year. So, Happy Birthday to me!
On my birthday on a tiny island called, Greenport, NY
(yes, that's a cucamelon in my cocktail)
Man, have I been a busy little Kitten. New full time job, my part time job, volunteering at the organic farm, so many (many) gigs, and a week's vacay in New York. And yet, I'm feeling guilty that I haven't helped out at the art museum in quite awhile. I'll get back on track with them this fall/winter. Keeping me busy has been a distraction from things.
My Aunt from WA stayed behind and sent this to me, after I left East Hampton
Busy Little Promo Bee
"Someone" (Aphrodite) was featured on a online grocer's Insta post.
She's a celebrity!
My aunt sketched this years ago #Cedarburg
The sculpture that saved me from the attic monsters as a child, and as an adult
Where I saw Giada De Laurentiis, and petted her little dog
My Aunt painted this too #Cedarburg
Things I was over analyzing and something's I tried to forget. It's odd, the more you try to push someone/something out of your mind, the more likely the universe will put them right in front of your face.
Like, "oh, you've been ignoring this shit. Let me place it, RIGHT THERE. RIGHT Fucking HERE!"
Thanks, universe. Thanks, for pointing out that out of sight, is out of mind. But that doesn't mean you have worked it totally out yet. Ah, painful past relationships. The funnest.
But, it is, what it is. Stubborn silver fox and the sparkly trail of bullshit you've left behind.