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Sexy Dip

So, the last three guys I've dated pointed out to me that the shelves in my pantry are a death trap waiting to happen. And I did poo-poo the idea after the first guy, but then for the second guy to say something; I started imagining these shelves falling down on top of me (along with all of my canned goods), rendering me totally immobile, forcing my cat to feed off of me, since I live alone and not sure if anyone really cares enough about me to check on me if I suddenly fall off the face of the earth.

It could happen.

Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic (Who me?! Never.)

But I still did nothing.

But then for the third guy to say something...I was done. I started removing all the canned goods and placing them on a more stable shelf and the floor of the pantry. Keep in mind, none of these men really made a valiant effort to help me fix this. Just pointed out my ultimate demise. Good thing they are no longer in the picture. Just saying...

But now my pantry is like a war zone. I had it all beautifully organized just 4 months ago (even if it was organized on bendy shelves), and just had a rather large order from Vitacost delivered. Now I have tomatoes mixed with baking powder, and beans on the nut shelf!!! And flour in my living room? What is THAT all about? I can't have's like blasphemy! So, on a trip to Costco with my step dad, I asked about my dilemma. More of a question on where could I get the cheapest wood for my buck, then how. 'Cause I didn't want anything fancy. Just nothing that will bend under my over abundance of canned goods. So, off we went to Home Depot. And now it is fixed. Although, I do not have pictures (yet), but did carry up these ginormous boards after a bottle of wine, red lipstick smeared (curly cue hair) and leopard print coat in tow (my neighbors love me).

I am still on the lookout for a vintage step ladder, so I don't have to hang from a coat hook to reach the top shelf like a little pocket monkey. Did I mention I want a servant monkey? Okay, that's for another time.

But anyway. After starring at these shelves, I realized I haven't made my Sexy Dip in quite awhile. It requires a few canned goods and thought it a good idea to maybe lighten the load a little. I usually make this in the summer time and bring to boat or patio parties, but we can pretend it's almost summer and we're sitting on a boat sipping a margarita (on the rocks, of course).

I don't know why I called it Sexy Dip. Maybe because I am so sick of food bloggers calling things like, "Crack Dip" and "Crack Cake" and "Crack"-whatever. Like, what in the world compelled these people to compare their recipe to a highly addictive trashy drug, that renders the user into looking like a zombie (that I actually have a real fear of. Zombies-it could happen). Yea. That REALLY appeals to me. And I totally want to eat it.

Sorry, no.

So, this is sexy. Cause everyone wants to be sexy in their own little way, and this dip sure makes me feel like it while I'm chowing it down in my leopard print bikini. Let loose, and be sexy and try this dip. Rawwwwr!

What is wrong with me today? I think I huffed the men's Curve cologne too long at Target. Sigh....

Serves: 6 Sexy People (give or take on their ACTUAL sexiness)


1 Cup Sour Cream (full fat for extra sexiness)

1 Cup Salsa

1 Cup Mayonnaise (you know how I feel about Miracle Whip, yack)

1 Can of Corn (non GMO and rinsed well)

1 TBS Dry Buttermilk Ranch Seasoning (I use Penzey Spices)

2 Cups Shredded High Quality WHITE Cheddar Cheese

Tortilla Chips

Mix all ingredients and let sit at least an hour in refrigerator before serving. Best made the night before, but you may have procrastinated, like I usually do. Serve with Tortilla chips. I LOVE these Vegetable Flaxseed Tortilla Chips from Trader Joe's! They're so colorful and tasty, I might add.


Look at this cute little girl!

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